HALAWA KO BALA'I

A few years ago when i was still amarya and was at my A game of husband pleasing, my Mom called me on a faithful day and said 'ke layla me kunshi ta zo daga maiduguri, tana gyaran jiki, na turo ta?' A turo ta ince dai bata da tsada, walahi kar ta zo ta ga katon gida ban da ko sisi!!! ke dallah be fi ki bata 20k ba." Ah toh no problem." i go fit do 20k
Can  around 2 pm se ga me gyaran jiki ta zo.
Na tube nayi daurin kirji.

aka fara da kurkum, se dilke se ta zo ta kwashe da halawa. Abit uncomfortable but any thing for za husband.
Na tashi na je na dauko mata kudin ta na mika mata can se ta ce ba za kiyi halawa a gaban ki ba?
(pubic area) na ce mata A'A
Budan bakin ta se tace shi yasa mazan ku hausawa suke muku wulakanci. Baki ga mu shuwa ba mijin mu yanda mu ke rike shi, ai yana daga cikin sirrin rike miji.
Ai if you are clean down there, when your husband meets another woman abin ALLAH ya sawake that isnt clean down there ba ze kara komawa ba. Can dai tace ai duk yan uwanki ina musu. ni kuma kunya na kasa kiran  maman mu back na tambaye ta kina halawa A HEAD QUARTERS?
So after like 10 mins of back and forth this NIGGA convinced me to do a brazillian wax!!!

na kwanta kamar ina labour room , i took a deep breath and in my mind na ce it cant be that bad!!
 Nothing could have prepared me for the pain da ya ratsa tsatsan jikina ya bi ta bargo na ya je kwakwalwata ya dawu wurin that she just savaged. Walahi da ta ja halawar na zata ta tafi da gaban.
na ringa INALILAHI WA INNA ILLAHIR RAJIUN!!! INALILLAHI WA INNA ILLAHIR RA JIUN.
Se ta sa dariya wai "kai ku hausawa baku da dauriya "kamar na hambare ta da kafa ta. ta ce toh huta mu ci gaba! Na shanya  comodity a gaban AC after 2 minutes muka ci gaba.

This time around da ta ja halawar da na kwalara ihu se ga call from my cook asking if every thing was ok!!! kasa dauka nayi ita ta dauka ta sa a speaker!!!
Bala'i

By this time da na kalla se naga jini was coming out  from my pores! Oh ni ALLAH what have i gotten my self into?
dama ni bani da juriya, my pain threshold is zero!!!

Muka samu mu ka karasa da kyar!!! ina salati ina zagin baiwar ALLAH .

bayan na gama cin azabar duniya ko kallan ta ba na iya yi saboda tsana da bakin ciki da kuma azabar raddadi, budar bakinta se ta ce wai za ki karo N10,000.

Na ce mata a gidan uban wa!!!! wallahi kwandala bazan kara miki ba!!!
can dai da na huce na karo dubu biyar na bata mukayi sallama!! ina ta tatata haka na haura sama.

Miji na dawowa dan rashimn M ko noticing gyaran jikin ma be yi ba!!!  da na gaji dai nace touch my skin is there something different?. Ya taba ya ce not really you did something ne?
na daure na ce  A walahi gyaran jiki na yi ido na ya ciciko. Yanzu kalli shi alhajin da na sha bakar azaba a kanshi really didnt even move an eye brow!!!

Na zauna na gaya mishi yadda mu kayi da me halawa, he laughed har da tsugunawa.
wa ya ce miki ya dame ni?! Please don't hurt your self again, not for me!!!

Washe gari the place was very sore but i wasn't ready for what i saw!!!
duk inda gashi ya fita ya duri ruwa!!!  Kanan nan marurai dan ingaya miki sun feso a wurin!!!
Na boni na lallace, wannan abu da me yayi kama!!!

 Later in the evening we had to go to the hospital aka hado ni da ampiclux da su paracetamol.
on my way back na kira mama na na ke mayar mata da zancen, ta ce wa ya saki!!!
na ce mata ce min tayi tana miki, ta ce walahi karya ne!!! Bata taba min ba!!!
toh na ce ai aikin gama ya gama ALLAH dai ya kyauta!!!

Toh tundaga tokacin Veet (hair remover) di na nake siya bakina Alekum!!!

photo credit- pintrest