Toh dai I've been suspecting miji na is seeing some one, he comes home very late from work every day, be cin abunchi na ko kadan, to even gist na mishi wuya.
He wont talk to me and when i ask him questions he become very angry and aggressive. na kasa samun kanshi. Whats happening to my husband. He use to be this loving caring husband amma yanzu ko kalo na baya yi. No compliments no matter how much i try, its like we are brother and sister and not mata da miji.
It got to a point i just stopped trying, after all, all efforts go noticed, abeg i cant come and go and kill myself. fast forward a few months.........
Ina zaune inna kalon Zworld like i do most times, minding my business when my friend called, i answered, ko gaisuwa babu she just jumped straight to it.... ke ashe zaa miki kishiya?
yaushe kuka yi auren ? i was quiet and confused because i had no idea what she was talking about. We've just been married going on 3 years, kishia kuma? toh soboda Allah aren't we still in honey moon stage? i continued to listen to her, she said my husband girlfriend is her junior sisters friend, wai inna ji yadda miji na takes great care of her, wayo Allah na!!! wayo zan mutu!! must the dagger be so close to home? this man has brought embarrassment to my door step, sabo da mai? my eyes full with tears and my heart broken i had to play calm, my friend continued to give me the gist her sister told her, wai my husband goes everywhere with this girl and spends to much money on her. Holiday ne? he pays, designers ne? he buys (i cant remember the last time he even bought me chewing gum talk less of designers) wai yarinyar ba abunda baya siya mata, from the one she ask for to the ones she didnt ask for, while me the WIFE ko kallo. my friend continued, ke kina zaune a gida se kiba kike yi, your husband is chasing younger girls, what are u going to do about it? i kept quiet, with tears flowing down my face all i could think was " ni mutumin nan zayi was kishia? i could feel my heart burning in my chest, crazy ideas running in my head, should i confront him or just ignore all this information i just got?
poison him or pack my bags? as my friend continued to talk, i managed to ask for my husband girlfriends name, BILKISU. As my friend continued to talk kawai nace mata i'll call u back bari in gama dafa abuncin nan.
i tried asking my husband about what i heard amma ko kalo na ma bayi ba. So i decided to keep an eye on him & his phone. My goal was to get this Bilkisu number if it was the last thing i do. finally i got her number and i looked her up on Whatsapp, ai ga hoton ta ma, not to bad but na fita nesa ba kusa ba, so what is my husband doing,where did i go wrong ? i sent her a msg....
ME : Salam
Bilkisu: who is this?
Me: you should know me, since u are suppose to be my " kishia"
Bilkisu: what?
Me? Leave my husband alone, you are distroying my home, sobo da Allah go and find your own husband.
Bilkisu: madam please leave me alone, go and have this conversation with Aminu and not me.
Me: Excuse me!! You must be mad, iv warned you, ki bar mun miji na, in ba haka ba you`ll find out!!!
Bilkisu: Rabi, let me tell you something, its because of me you still have a husband, ni neke tura shi gida, in kika ban haushi wallahi you wont see him for another 1 week, useless woman, you call yourself a wife?
ME: you must be stupid, your parents failed with u wallahi. you will regret this, i should be thanking you sabo da me? are u his wife? na giya miki leave my husband alone, leave my marriage to know peace before Allah ya tsine miki.
Bilkisu: ke Rabi, har yanzu kina da bakin magana. ive been to your house and ive seen how u live, no type of class nothing, mary kay a dresser, who still uses that in 2017 when ur mates are using Mac and Bobbi Brown,with ur old woman big pant hanging like rag, dont even let me talk of the kitchen, kai leave me alone before na yayaga miki rigar mutinci!!
(im shouting and screeming Wayo Allah na so this man has taken his disrespect to this lenght to where he can bring this prostitute to my house, sabo da Allah da annabi me na yi mishi, look how this girl is talking to me over my own husband, wallahi Allah ya isa!!!
Me: God will punish you, the two legs you used to enter my house God will punish u, Allah ya tsine miki, you will remain a useless prostitute har abada....
Billkisu: Allan da zai tsine mun, zai fara daga kan ki, useless woman calling yourself someones wife. All day you stay home and do nothing, cooking baki iya ba, cleaning ma ya bar ki a baya, to properly take care of your husband you have failed. Why wouldnt your husband come looking for a fresh girl like me that he can proudfully flaunt about town. im more of a wife to him then you are so please dont distrub my life. if your parents didnt teach u how to take care of a husband then thats on you because i cook for Aminu and dress up nicely for him, i make him happy while you depress him, he is disgusted by your sight, hes always complaining to me about you. like i said, you should be thanking me for even taking care of him, useless woman, go and look for ur solution to ur failing marriage before in yi fishi and tell him ya baki saki uku. useless bag of weight.
inalillahi wa ina illahi rajiun i froze and my phone fell!
i have never been insulted like this in my life!
i sat down while the ocean of tears flowed down my face, so my husband can cause me this much pain and embarrassment? What have i done to his to hate me to this point? bringing another woman into my house, telling her things about me, sabo da mai? is this marriage even worth it? i cant even confront him but im sure his girlfriend will tell him i contacted her, but i dont care, im broken, my heart is broken. what do i do now? should i pack my bags and leave the house for them? where would i go? my fathers house? in ce mishi me?
My sister just think if the marriage will take both of you to Janna. If only one person is going to Janna and other hell, the marriage is not worth it at all. Dama Ana aure ne dan a shiga aljanna, idan kinga zaki iya barin shi ya ciga bah da miki haka toh dan kam wuta zeh wuce cos of alhakin ki....
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I pray Allah in his infinite mercy Ya huci zuciyar ki. 2. Ki sa addu'a a gaba. 3. Stay there, Allah ne Ya sa Ki a gidan as Matarsa, ba shegiya da ta isa ta yi sanadiyar Ki bar gidan. 4. If you can, Ki manta da sha'anin su, Ki sauke hakkin Ki as matarsa as best you can and concentrate on your self. 5. Lose the weight, dress up kamar mei sabon saurayi. 6. Ki tsaptace gidan Ki wane Amarya. Ki dawo wane budurwa. 7. Ki yi Addu'a. 8. Idan kin yi sallah Ki yi kuka wa Allah, Ki yi addu'a Kuma Ki roki Allah Ya saka Maki da Alkhairi. 9. I know it's hard but Ki daina zaginta Ki Kuma daina nufanta da Abun da ba Alkhairi ba, Allah Ya shirye Ta. Ki fara girki iri iri, Yana shigowa kamshin Abunci Ya yaqi hancin shi (wallah google is your best friend). 10. Ki Mika komai a Hannun Allah. Muna taya Ki da Addu'a. It's hard, but Ki tuna Cewa Allah baya daura wa bayin Sa abunda yafi karfin su. Allah Ya taimaka
ReplyDeleteAllah ya miki albarka for such comments. I couldnt say it better. Ai the mistress has helped her point her problems out, sai ta dage ta gyara and ta dage da addu'a too.
DeleteTo some extent i kind of understand why the guy is doing that (not that i'm justifying it). Some of us guys hate to tell women what to do. We believe they should know what is right and wrong. We see a lot of women outside (no matter how low we gaze) they are just all over. Thou its bad to compare your wife with anyone, no matter how hard you try this days its bordering impossible to. So they both need to engage themselves in the making the aure possible, not just the wife.
They should both pray and ask for devine intervention into their marriage. And if adding the 2nd wife shine alkhairi Allah ya tabbatar. If not kuma Allah ya shirye mu gaba daya!
Subhanallah,i feel your pain sister. My advice to you is to stay, don't go anywhere else u would regret leaving, stay and make your marriage work, if u leave u would be giving the chick more space. Instead work on yourself,reduce weight, look sexy and your home too, dress to kill, cook good food that smell nice(his favourite) that would be hard for him to resist, keep your home clean, pet him, seduce him, he is your husband .Almost three years of marriage, by now you should know his weak point, pinch it. Try as much as possible to avoid nagging,also try to show less concern about his doings and where abouts, invite friends over,chill out and laugh over life. Make him realise you are happy even without his company, if he is reasonable enough ,he would make an attempt to talk u, at this point control your anger, watch your words, be calm and respond politely. Then u guys can talk things out. The first thing u should do right now is take your tears and pain to Allah, cry to him. Make dua and supplications, fast and pray for only Him can see u through. Pray that whatever has taken your Aminu, Allah should bring him back to u for he is meant to be with you and not some chick. Stop crying and panicking it would only add more fuel to fire, it would affect your health. In sha Allah, everything would be fine. And to all those stupid desperate single ladies out there, the earlier u stop inflicting pain and asunder in married homes the better for your lives, karma is real, do unto others what u want to be done to u, nemesis would surely catch up with u. Put your self in her shoes and imagine someone taking your husband's attention away from you or some lady putting your mum through such pain then maybe your brain can get some sense. May Allah purify our hearts ameen. The fact that Islam allows more than one wife shouldn't be a weapon for you to opress his other wife, let him fulfill his duties to her, let her exhibit her right. Kibata hakin ta fisabilillah. Walahi en matan yanzu kuyi hankali, duniya lallata. Ba wayewa bane ba, u are even proud he is flaunting u inside town hmnh. Allah yasa mucika da imani. Ameen
ReplyDeleteKi ce masa kin dawo gida saboda za'a maki kishiya!!! Wai ke ba musulma bace... Ki gaya mani inda aka ce namiji mijin mace daya ne...infact an fara mentioning biyu biyu kamin ace daya dats in ba zai iya ba!muna daukan al'adar bayahude sama da addinin mu da Kuma watsi da al'adar mu ta bahaushe... Don Allah kisami natsuwa... Hausawa sunce bulalar da ta Zane uwargida shi zata Zane amarya da shi...bature Ya ce.. Wat goes around comes around...Give it tym buh u hv to b extremely patient, persevere, ignore, overlook n above all Prayers...no mallams, Bokas n d likes....wallahi Allah Dos key words r ur weapons... May Allah SWA guide...Protect n see u through ur misery...n all our sisters in trying times...amin...ur sister dat truly feels ur pain! lest I forget... U need to work on urself first... Look frm inside u...is d chick right o not? Den take it up frm there! Shi Kuma Aminu is d typical of our northern men... Ba adalci.. Allah Ya shirya mana su da mu baki daya... Amin.
ReplyDeleteAmma you shouldnt have contacted her in d first place, it will worsen the situation between you and your husband. And you cant just go back to your fathers house because ur husband is marrying another woman, that will not make sense sosai...
ReplyDeleteIts undoubtedly wrong of him to treat you unjustly, ignore you and not fend for u. It wrong of him to date the new girl in the way he's... Spending and all. And telling her crap about you etc. But it's not wrong of him to take a new wife. And your husband going after her doesn't mean she's a prostitute or home wrecker as you say. And there's no time too early to take a wife. To be candid, she got to say all those mean tins to cos u asked for it. Had you not contacted her. Had you listened when she said u shd deal with your problem thru Aminu. She most der got defensive cos of your attack and all the mean things she said are what your husband most likely said to her trying to spin her. U know married men justify neman this young chaps by condemning their wives (whc is not necessarily with true facts). Although u shd go about dancing that za'a miki kishia, but as a Muslim, u dare not have anytn against what Allah allows. Even if what the new girl said are lies, at least she's given you free info. Improve more on those areas and see gudun ruwan shi. U need to work on your understanding of marriage and polygamy from the Islamic point of you so u don't fall into error by putting what you want above what Allah wants. As someone rightly said Google is your friend. Try this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N6KAPRy8nKI . This concentrates more on you cos it's you that's distressed and at disadvantage and we want you to consider your duty to Allah first. Bt your Husband got it wrong. Not communicating and spending elsewhere is Zalunci. Allah saka miki.
DeleteThe answer is right here on is website from another post. Get your husband to read this without accessing this page, else he sees your post as well. Lolzzzz. Copy and paste, whatsoever http://www.northernhibiscus.com/2017/03/please-let-our-husbands-read-this.html
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