ENTRY 5 (I FROOZE BY AMIRA)

 
I can remember it like it happened yesterday. I had this boyfriend. I was in love. I was in awe. Everything he said was like Hadith to me. You know how it is when you're stupidly in love. I'm totally northern. While his upbringing was excessively western. Both parents Ibira but very westernised. Because he and his siblings were allowed guests of both sex to their house and respective rooms even. Which of course if I tried to take a boy to my room needless to say it would be the death of me but I'll be married to the imam of the nearest mosque before I could say my name. Anyway, back to this day. I went to visit my man at his parents house (he lived in Ghana back then and he'd come to Nigeria for the holidays.) So each day he would come see me. On this fateful day, I decided to go see him cause he was leaving the next day and he had a lot of things to do. So, I
thought why not? What harm could it do? After all we were talking marriage. Besides according to him, his parents were cool with that. So I went. We had lunch in his room. I met some of their house helps. We watched our fav tv shows. And it was time for me to leave. As we were leaving his room, I heard voices in the corridor leading to the way out. We were passing a door when he stops and says "oh mum, this is Amira, my friend."
(Luckily is told him I wasn't good around parents. Especially potential in laws. One time. And I prayed he remembered that at this moment)
I froze. My brain froze. My heart stopped. My mind flew out of my body. OMG! She was SO intimidating 😭 I nearly pissed my pants. I began to sweat. And I opened my stupid mouth (which had lost brain-mouth function) to say "good afternoon. Good evening. Well done." And some more random rubbish words that I had no idea I could string together. By the look on her face, my brain decided to start working so i shut up. And she said to me "Amira yaya kike? Ya Sallah? Ya mutanen gida?"
OMG! My brain melted! Upon ALL the English her son has been blowing me. His freaking mother speaks HAUSA!!!
I mean. I just wanted to die. I don't know how my legs carried me from that spot to out of the house. At some point as he was walking me to my car, he asked me "What the hell was that back there?" And my insides shrivelled up once more. I could only manage to say "please let's never talk about it" I can't remember what we talked about as I was getting into my car. And for the life of me I don't know how I drove home. I still die a little inside when I remember that day.